Modern advances in animation and film can make nearly anything look real. The special effects in most action movies make it look like Iron Man can fly and James Bond has nine lives. But the greatest special effects of all is found in pornography. Whether in magazines, the Internet or movies, pornography looks real. The people look real and are real. But is this reality?
A great illustration of this sexual reality-bending is found in the surprisingly charming movie Lars and the Real Girl. Too anxious to get close to a real girl, Lars orders a life-size doll off the Internet. These dolls look real. They're made from silicone and are anatomically correct. These dolls never frustrate, avoid or break up with their owner. They never disagree or argue, and they're always ready for love-making. They are always safe.
The same is true for pornography. The models in pornography have the irresistible combination of being both attractive and safe. With over 400 million pages of pornography on the Internet today, these images are irresistible to millions of men (and boys--the largest group that views Internet pornography are boys ages 12-17). I've heard single men say they prefer pornography over dating.
In reality, pornography makes men cowards. As psychoanalyst Alan Karbelnig points out, "Pornography basically serves as a form of defense against humiliation, rejection, abandonment, and other varieties of human vulnerability. Focusing on the "sexual act," this time observed via the Internet, prevents the viewer from direct exposure to an actual encounter in which they could be wounded in any number of ways." In other words, it's always "safe." Dangerously safe.
It's time for men to get real. Reality must become irresistible to men. Single guys have to face the anxieties of asking a woman on a date. Although she may not say "yes", there is even more danger to never ask and stay alone forever. For married guys, the reality is that your wife might not always be "in the mood" when you are. A real woman can mean times of disappointment and compromises in life, including in the bedroom. But the love you share together is priceless. Reality ultimately beats fantasy.
A life full of fantasy turns men into boys. Real men prefer reality instead--for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. On his wedding day, a real man faces his bride and takes a vow for reality. He chooses reality over fantasy, sacrifice over selfishness, and courage over fear.
There is a reason that Playboy magazine is not called Playmen or Playhusbands. Men don't play with women and a husband would die for his wife if necessary. Play boys do neither. To men who wish for a lifetime of love with their wives, the answer is simple and yet requires everything within you. You must choose reality over fantasy. Keep it real.
A great illustration of this sexual reality-bending is found in the surprisingly charming movie Lars and the Real Girl. Too anxious to get close to a real girl, Lars orders a life-size doll off the Internet. These dolls look real. They're made from silicone and are anatomically correct. These dolls never frustrate, avoid or break up with their owner. They never disagree or argue, and they're always ready for love-making. They are always safe.
The same is true for pornography. The models in pornography have the irresistible combination of being both attractive and safe. With over 400 million pages of pornography on the Internet today, these images are irresistible to millions of men (and boys--the largest group that views Internet pornography are boys ages 12-17). I've heard single men say they prefer pornography over dating.
In reality, pornography makes men cowards. As psychoanalyst Alan Karbelnig points out, "Pornography basically serves as a form of defense against humiliation, rejection, abandonment, and other varieties of human vulnerability. Focusing on the "sexual act," this time observed via the Internet, prevents the viewer from direct exposure to an actual encounter in which they could be wounded in any number of ways." In other words, it's always "safe." Dangerously safe.
It's time for men to get real. Reality must become irresistible to men. Single guys have to face the anxieties of asking a woman on a date. Although she may not say "yes", there is even more danger to never ask and stay alone forever. For married guys, the reality is that your wife might not always be "in the mood" when you are. A real woman can mean times of disappointment and compromises in life, including in the bedroom. But the love you share together is priceless. Reality ultimately beats fantasy.
A life full of fantasy turns men into boys. Real men prefer reality instead--for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. On his wedding day, a real man faces his bride and takes a vow for reality. He chooses reality over fantasy, sacrifice over selfishness, and courage over fear.
There is a reason that Playboy magazine is not called Playmen or Playhusbands. Men don't play with women and a husband would die for his wife if necessary. Play boys do neither. To men who wish for a lifetime of love with their wives, the answer is simple and yet requires everything within you. You must choose reality over fantasy. Keep it real.
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