Sometimes the biggest obstacle to your success in life is you. Your motivation is there. Your talents and skills are there. But you get hung up on one of the most difficult obstacles in life--yourself! Its not easy to admit, but You are your own biggest problem in your life. Speaking from personal experience, one of those biggest problems for me--and for many men that I know--is perfectionism. Want a "perfect" example? I just rewrote this first paragraph five times.
As a notoriously slow writer, I know the downside of perfectionism all too well. It slows people down. Sometimes it slows people down to a complete stop. Indecision and procrastination are the most obvious signs of perfectionism. If your plan or project doesn't seem perfect, then why even start? Or if you think someone else is better at doing this or that...your own action is stopped in its tracks. I know of a parent who couldn't decide which Ivy League college was best for her daughter. She waited so long to make a "perfect" decision that she missed the deadline for getting her enrolled in either one! The same problem faces perfectionists at the restaurant. Long menus with a hundred items are a thing of dread instead of a celebration of choices. This isn't a problem about not making a good decision. Its a never-ending fear of making a "wrong" decision (btw...making a "wrong" choice on a menu is not a crime--so lighten up!).
At the root of perfectionism is people-pleasing. The perfectionist's life is about trying to please and never disappoint friends, strangers, parents, authority figures, or God. If possible, never. Although we all know this is impossible, many people still live like this anyway. And they can subconsciously project that same high expectation on others (ever expect your wife to be perfect?--like you are?).
I'm not advocating that we throw out striving to be better at a job, character qualities or relationships. I love the constant improvements in technology, cars and boats. I also love growing and maturing in character as a man, husband and father. But I also know that no person or thing ever completely arrives at perfection. Even the latest iPhone will be perfected more next year...and for the next hundred years.
A philosophy that I try to embrace when working on a project is that "Good enough is good enough." A job that is done (but not perfect) is better than a job that is never done. And here is another slogan that I like even better. In an interview in Fortune magazine (Sep 26, 2011, p.51), businesswoman and clothing designer Eileen Fisher gives this simple advice, "We've adopted the saying 'Let it go--its perfect enough.' Often the first time you produce a garment or work with a new fabric, you have to tweak it. In the mistake is the next success." So go ahead and make a mistake. It's not only better than doing nothing, it can be a valuable learning experience. Its perfect enough!
What goal or project are you avoiding to achieve?
How does perfectionism interfere with your life and goals?
Can lowering your expectations actually boost your productivity?
As a notoriously slow writer, I know the downside of perfectionism all too well. It slows people down. Sometimes it slows people down to a complete stop. Indecision and procrastination are the most obvious signs of perfectionism. If your plan or project doesn't seem perfect, then why even start? Or if you think someone else is better at doing this or that...your own action is stopped in its tracks. I know of a parent who couldn't decide which Ivy League college was best for her daughter. She waited so long to make a "perfect" decision that she missed the deadline for getting her enrolled in either one! The same problem faces perfectionists at the restaurant. Long menus with a hundred items are a thing of dread instead of a celebration of choices. This isn't a problem about not making a good decision. Its a never-ending fear of making a "wrong" decision (btw...making a "wrong" choice on a menu is not a crime--so lighten up!).
At the root of perfectionism is people-pleasing. The perfectionist's life is about trying to please and never disappoint friends, strangers, parents, authority figures, or God. If possible, never. Although we all know this is impossible, many people still live like this anyway. And they can subconsciously project that same high expectation on others (ever expect your wife to be perfect?--like you are?).
I'm not advocating that we throw out striving to be better at a job, character qualities or relationships. I love the constant improvements in technology, cars and boats. I also love growing and maturing in character as a man, husband and father. But I also know that no person or thing ever completely arrives at perfection. Even the latest iPhone will be perfected more next year...and for the next hundred years.
A philosophy that I try to embrace when working on a project is that "Good enough is good enough." A job that is done (but not perfect) is better than a job that is never done. And here is another slogan that I like even better. In an interview in Fortune magazine (Sep 26, 2011, p.51), businesswoman and clothing designer Eileen Fisher gives this simple advice, "We've adopted the saying 'Let it go--its perfect enough.' Often the first time you produce a garment or work with a new fabric, you have to tweak it. In the mistake is the next success." So go ahead and make a mistake. It's not only better than doing nothing, it can be a valuable learning experience. Its perfect enough!
What goal or project are you avoiding to achieve?
How does perfectionism interfere with your life and goals?
Can lowering your expectations actually boost your productivity?
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